Gratitude Day 13

Welcome To Day #13 of 21 Days of Gratitude

Here is a quotation to ponder.

“If you would stop analyzing everything and just look for things to appreciate; in other words, if you could just decide to play that game, look for things to appreciate, you would live happily ever after.” — Wisdom of Abrahamhttp://www.abraham-hicks.com

I ALWAYS FIND WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR …

… so instead of looking for reasons to feel bad, I’m always looking for things that make me feel fabulous, looking for things to rock my world, looking for things to surprise and thrill me, looking for things to appreciate greatly, looking for ways to make everything fun, looking for even more reasons to flow my love. ~ from the author of 500 Confessions

Gratitude Day 5

Welcome To Day #5 of 21 Days of Gratitude

Today's post is a substitution for the original Day 5 from the 21 Days of Gratitude Project. The content comes from:  http://www.sedonameditation.com/GratitudeAttitude.html  and focuses on how gratitude brings us back into alignment with the present moment. I am really happy I found this article because I've been looking for something specific about gratitude and the present moment. Enjoy!

Cultivating the Attitude of Gratitude

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity.

It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of our past,

brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

 - Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More.

When you're feeling grateful, your mind is clear, you have a sweeter relationship to the universe and its creator, and you become more aware of the big picture. The world becomes a friendly place to live. Every moment offers an opportunity for thanks. And every "thank-you" can return you to the present moment (another way to become present to what is REALLY going on.)

Keep coming back to present moment awareness

Every moment offers an opportunity for thanks. And every "thank-you" can return you to the present moment. Gratitude practice for me is about letting go of thinking and welcoming in the present moment. Accepting this moment as it is, and knowing that everything is happening for your evolution is a great practice too. “Faith is born of gratitude,” says Dr. Wattles, “ The grateful mind continually expects good things, and expectation becomes faith.”

You can also practice welcoming the present moment. Receiving. Every moment, every morning, every evening, and every meal is an opportunity to say thank you. A formal prayer isn’t required - easily bring your attention on what you’re grateful for in the moment, it can be a touchstone to the miracles of life that might have gone unnoticed. I often say thank you to the universe, the creator, and its every thing that created this moment. I appreciate the abundance that is present my life. That makes me feels good. 

Keep up the gratitude practice even when you don’t feel particularly grateful

When life is difficult and when you feel sorrow, great anxiety, or if you are dealing with a difficult relationship, choosing to be grateful can transform your perspective, even for a few moments, to one of appreciation and contentment for all that is: both the wonderful and the frustrating. Scientists have found that feeling grateful produces the endorphins in your brain, the same chemicals that reduce stress, lessen pain, and improve your immune functions.

Being grateful puts you in a totally different mindset and energy level, and enables you to reestablish your connection to your source, your spirit. It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy or in fear at the same time. The negativity and anger you had felt begins to dissipate. Peace and possibility envelope you. You can take a deep breath. The struggle stops and your heart calms. An attitude of gratitude and appreciation can trump negative emotions every time. Thank you.    

- Written by Sarah McLean

For today: Focus on the present moment by writing down 5 things you are grateful for today

About the author: Along with her 22 year meditation practice, Sarah McLean has explored world spiritual and cultural traditions: she's been a 2-year resident in a Zen Buddhist monastery, lived in an ashram in India, taught English to Tibetan Buddhist nuns, bicycled along the silk route through Pakistan, meditated in temples in Thailand and Japan, and trekked the Golden Triangle in Asia. Sarah McLean is passionate about teaching and sharing what she’s discovered about the modalities of mind/body health, self awareness and her spiritual journey.  Endorsed by Deepak Chopra and featured in The New York Times, Sarah is the founding director of the Sedona Meditation Training Company, where she teaches meditation and leads meditation retreats.

Read more articles by Sarah McLean

You Are What You Eat

I am so excited about this link I just found. All along I have been telling clients that what they eat is important in emotional healing and recovery. I knew it was true, but only had a few basic common sense suggestions for a healthy recovery diet and I didn't have anything helpful to hand out. Now, lucky day! From a great mental health research and policy organization in the UK comes this great Food and Mood Diary that also includes a list of foods that are likely to help with specific mental health issues. Hooray! Check out the link for yourself. It's very cool.

p.s. - the above link will also direct you to a full article about food and mental health. It's great.

Here is some further reading if you're interested. These articles also include even more good mood food suggestions:

• http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-fitness/diet/articles/2011/08/31/food-and-mood-6-ways-your-diet-affects-how-you-feel
• http://themindsanctuary.com/good-mood-food-%E2%80%93-ingredients-to-improve-your-mental-health/

What Self-Care is and Isn't

As a follow up to yesterday's post about self-care, here is some more specific info about the difference between self-care and self-indulgence. The writing below comes directly from this article at psychologytoday.com and is written by Christine Mienecke author of Everybody Marries the Wrong Person. 

What self-care is

While an enhanced regimen of self-care may sound like a good idea, most people are fuzzy on what self-care is and how to practice it.  Medical and mental health professionals pioneered the concept of self-care by prescribing healthy lifestyle changes and stress management behaviors.  Unfortunately, these prescriptions are often ignored because they require hard work and perseverance.  

During the 1980s, the term self-care became popularized.  It is now common to hear talk (especially among women) about needing to take better care of oneself.  Consequently, it became irresistibly profitable for advertisers to perpetuate the fantasy that self-care can be easy.  As a result of the self-care marketing blitz, many of us think that getting pedicures, choosing hand-dipped dark chocolates, and buying 10,000-thread count bed linens equal self-care.  

What self-care is not

Self-care is not self-pampering - not that there's anything wrong with self-pampering - pedicures, dark chocolates, and other luxuries.  That is, as long as you can afford luxuries.  Spending money that you don't have is self-indulgence.  

   

Self-care is not self-indulgence.  Popularly, the terms self-care and self-indulgence are used interchangeably, as in "Oh, go ahead, indulge.  You deserve it."  We tell ourselves that we are practicingself-care when, in fact, we are engaging in self-indulgence.  Self-indulgence is characterized by avoidance of the effortful and substitution of quick and easy antidotes.  We tell ourselves that the stresses of the day have drained our energy and that vegging on the sofa with a quart of ice cream or a six-pack of beer is all we can expect of ourselves.  Rather than shouldering the hard work of self-care, we settle for temporary and largely symbolic fixes - some of which actually stress our systems further.

How to practice self-care

Self-care means choosing behaviors that balance the effects of emotional and physical stressors: exercising, eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, practicing yoga or meditation or relaxation techniques, abstaining from substance abuse, pursuing creative outlets, engaging in psychotherapy.  Also essential toself-care is learning to self-soothe or calm our physical and emotional distress. Remember your mother teaching you to blow on the scrape on your knee?  This was an early lesson in self-soothing but the majority of adults haven't the foggiest notion how to constructively soothe themselves.

A common mistake in romantic relationships is depending on a partner to soothe our pain.  Most of us get married, in part, because we want someone other than mother to calm our fears and offer us band-aids.  Of course, it is never a mistake to seek comfort in the sweet embrace or wise words of a spouse.  The mistake is believing that a spouse is obligated to be an open tap of emotional support.  It is also not a spouse's role to teach us how to self-soothe.  We must learn this skill on our own. 

Self Care Ideas

Good self care is so important in any person's life, but especially someone going through a crisis or trying to recover from trauma or addiction. I've compiled a list of self care ideas and separated them (loosely) into Mental/Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual categories. There is lots of overlap between these, but it's a starting point. 

Self Care Ideas

Ideas taken from Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, How Partners can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means and from http://www.lifecoachbynature.com/wellness-resources/resources-for-living/healthy-spirit/262-feed-your-spirit-self-care-ideas.html and http://www.lawc.on.ca/ResourceSelfCare.htm and http://www.balancedweightmanagement.com/Bob's%20Ideas%20for%20Self-Nurturing.pdf

Mental/Emotional	Physical	Spiritual
Give yourself time-outs for the stress	Pamper yourself	Develop meditation and other spiritual exercises
Say “no” when you need or want to	Do soothing, relaxing activities regularly	Read books or writings that provide wisdom and comfort
Continue a routine as much as you are able	Move your body in ways that feel good to you	Listen to music that comforts your mind and soul
Spend some time with people who love you	Get enough sleep; nothing can deteriorate you faster than lack of sleep.	Watch movies that show how others have faced difficult circumstances
Talk about your feelings with safe people	Undertake some exercise daily, both to care for yourself and as a release valve for the stress created by the trauma	Consider adding spiritual practices with other people for the benefit that “fellowship” can build into your life
Don’t take responsibility for the other partner’s behavior, no matter what that partner says	Get a massage to calm and soothe yourself	Attend a church service
Don’t make major life decisions in the midst of the emotional upheaval	Eat a healthy diet by avoiding junk food, alcohol and caffeine	Visit a nursing home or shut-in
Care for yourself the way you would care for a friend who had been deeply hurt.	(check out http://mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/MM00623 for a guided relaxation video)	Play calming music while visualizing a peaceful nature scene
Read about sexual addiction so that you understand it enough to make wise decisions	Dance	Spend time with people/children/animals
Do things that season your life with “fun”, even if they don’t feel as good as they normally do.	Participate in group sports	Spend time in nature
Organize your closets, kitchen, photos, etc	Go biking	Spend time with people who are affirming, optimistic and nurturing.
Journal	Take a bubble bath	Take at least thirty minutes alone time per day.
Do deep breathing exercises.	Go swimming	Image and visualize - concentrate on a comforting scene.
Get a therapeutic massage.	Go hiking	Keep a gratitude journal
Treat yourself to a new body cream/lotion.	Clean	Find a special, quiet place and make it your own.
Wear your favorite, comfortable clothing.	Cook or bake	Notice your strengths.
Do an activity with friends	Exercise.	Realize that wherever you are today is the place to start.
Watch an uplifting movie	Soak feet in special foot soap (Johnson's, Scholl's).	Share happiness with someone else.
Attend a play	Join a yoga or stretching class weekly.	Nurture a loving atmosphere in your home.
Play or learn to play a musical instrument	Take a nap.	Just sit and listen to music that makes you feel good.
Read especially uplifting books or magazines	Take a long walk.	Plant a garden, pick fresh flowers or buy a small bouquet.
Save notes and letters that are complementary. Read them often.	Play/work outdoors (skiing, rollerblading, walking, barbecueing).	Take the time to write in a journal.
Rent a comedy video.	Learn new skills.	Enjoy time with children.
Light candles; buy fragrant candles.	Engage in a new hobby.	Tell someone you care about them
Puzzles, clay or silly putty.	Write down self-positive adjectives.	Look at the stars
Plan a vacation - call a travel agent.	Notice and appreciate humor.	Help out a stranger
Bring comforting photos to work (loved ones, vacations).	Order a pizza.	Forgive yourself
Plan ahead - schedule medical and dental appointments.	Take a break.	Encourage someone
Sit under the glow of a warm fireplace.	Eat healthy snacks, watch nutrition; take vitamins.	Reflect on your successes, finish the sentence “I can. . .”
Allow yourself to discover new things about "you.	Nourish your body with healthful warming soups.	Forgive a wrong
Add new elements that you want to include in your life	Dance all by yourself to really loud, fun music.	Tell yourself the loving words you want to hear from others
Be creative....sing, dance, paint or write.	Prepare yourself a good home-cooked meal.	Close your eyes and listen
Do something you've never done before.	Do a crossword.	Be in the present moment
Draw, paint or just color in a child's coloring book.	Spend an afternoon at the library or bookstore and read for free.	Create a collage representing your authentic self
Talk on the phone to friends or not answering the phone at all.	Enjoy a manicure or pedicure - share the experience with a friend.	Relax, watch the clouds
Laugh from the belly.	Do something adventurous	Watch the sunrise or sunset
Put a positive word on your water bottle	Sing in the shower	Reflect on what you value most
Contact an old friend	Go feed ducks or birds	Visualize yourself achieving your goals
Discard something you don’t like	Collect wildflowers and make a bouquet	Share a compliment
Return something borrowed	Drink plenty of water	Practice feeling awe for life
Visit a museum or art gallery	Sip a cup of herbal tea	Write a thank you note to someone
	Work out with weights
	Go horseback riding
Add your own ideas :