Gratitude Day 2

Welcome To Day #2 of 21 Days of Gratitude.  (from http://21daysofgratitude.com/?p=7 )

Let’s start from the beginning. 

What is gratitude? 

If you search the dictionary you will likely find gratitude defined as a “feeling state.”  

The American Heritage Dictionary entry reads: “Grat·i·tude: noun. The state of being grateful; thankfulness.”

Gratitude is not an “emotion” such as happy or joyful.  

The feeling of gratitude arises as a result of positive focused thought which then triggers a positive focused feeling state. 

This distinction is very important because it reminds us that the experience of “gratefulness” or “gratitude” must be consciously chosen. 

Gratitude is an inner experience that does not come unbidden. Yet we each have the power to cultivate and expand this state in a very deliberate way. 

Over the next 21 Days we’ll be delving deeply into the experience of gratitude to learn about its unique powers. 

1)       We’ll explore the proven psychological benefits of cultivating an “attitude of gratitude.” 

2)       We’ll investigate the connection between gratitude and prosperity. 

3)       We’ll reveal the distinction between “reactive” and “proactive” gratitude. 

4)       We’ll experiment with specific practices that engender a feeling of gratitude. 

5)       We’ll illustrate how we can use gratitude to shift our emotional state. 

6)       We’ll learn how we can use gratitude to enhance our self-esteem. 

7)       We’ll come to understand how to employ gratitude as a transformational tool. 

        

Action steps for Day 2: 

1) If you have not already done so, go to: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ to register for a free account and to complete the Gratitude Survey questionnaire developed by Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons.   

2) List five things that you are grateful for today. 

3) For today, ponder this thought and reply with your comments about it: 

“The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted. As you begin to be grateful for what most people take for granted, that vibration of gratitude makes you more receptive to good in your life.” — Rev. Michael Beckwith 

With gratitude for your participation in this co-creative experience,  

Elyse Hope KilloranPresident, 

 Prosperity from the Inside-Out™

Gratitude Day 1

I found this amazing website http://www.21daysofgratitude.com/. I refered to it here and I've used it a few times with my clients. The ones who have actually followed through with it loved it. However, I find the original website a little difficult to navigate so I've broken down the days individually. I also have substituted material entirely on some of the days and I had to leave out a few parts because they don't apply now. But mostly the credit goes to the original authors of the 21 days of gratitude. Anyway, here is Day 1 of their amazing project. I will post one of the rest of the days each day (except weekends) until they are all here.

Welcome to Day #1 of the 21 Days of Gratitude Project (all info in this post is from 

http://21daysofgratitude.com/?p=6 )

The Daily messages are designed to reveal the innate power of the “energy of gratitude” and will draw upon: the scientific knowledge base of Positive Psychology, the directive support of the coachig model and the “alchemical power” of Metaphysics.

For our part:

~ From Positive Psychology: we will share information and assessments from the field of Positive Psychology to help you deepen your current understanding of what gratitude is and how impactful gratitude has been proven to be. 

~ From Coaching: we will encourage you to take the information about gratitude and apply it in practical ways so that you can achieve measurable results.  As it takes 21 days for a new habit to become fixed you’ll be right on schedule to make an “attitude of gratitude” become a seamless part of your life. 

~ From Metaphysics: we will be connecting the practice of “gratitude” to the notion of the whole “ask, believe, receive” process and we will support you in harnessing the power of gratitude on a consistent basis to manifest real-world results. 

For your part: you will read the emails you receive, once each day bringing an attitude of curiosity, a willingness to explore, and a commitment to participate fully in the process. 

Messages will be short and sweet and application should take less than 5 minutes each day.

And, upon completion, you will have a practical way to reflect upon your experience and come to your own conclusion about the power of gratitude.

So let us begin… 

Day #1 Assignment: We’re going to begin this “experiment” in a very practical way. 

First, we need a “before” measure of gratitude so that we can track how far we have traveled by the end of the process. 

For today: 

Go to: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ and register for a free account. (don't worry, this is really quick and both the questionnaires recommended below are super short)

There are dozens of enriching questionairres that you can complete on this site but, for today, we are most interested in getting an initial index of the Gratitude Survey questionnaire developed by Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons.  (Note: If you want to complete more than one survey, we recommend: The Fordyce Emotions Questionnaire and/or the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire.) 

Second, we want you to begin a daily gratitude activity.

For the next 21 days, do your best to list five things that you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. 

Looking forward to a remarkable journey,  

Prosperity from the Inside-Out™

Elyse Hope Killoran, President, 

http://goodmorninggratitude.com/2012/01/22/without-you-i-wouldnt-have-tried/

You Are What You Eat

I am so excited about this link I just found. All along I have been telling clients that what they eat is important in emotional healing and recovery. I knew it was true, but only had a few basic common sense suggestions for a healthy recovery diet and I didn't have anything helpful to hand out. Now, lucky day! From a great mental health research and policy organization in the UK comes this great Food and Mood Diary that also includes a list of foods that are likely to help with specific mental health issues. Hooray! Check out the link for yourself. It's very cool.

p.s. - the above link will also direct you to a full article about food and mental health. It's great.

Here is some further reading if you're interested. These articles also include even more good mood food suggestions:

• http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-fitness/diet/articles/2011/08/31/food-and-mood-6-ways-your-diet-affects-how-you-feel
• http://themindsanctuary.com/good-mood-food-%E2%80%93-ingredients-to-improve-your-mental-health/

Christian/Uplifting Recovery Songs

Music can be so powerful. Music can reach my heart in ways nothing else can. In my own healing journey music plays a key part. There are certain songs that I can point to as a turning point in my life. When I am working with other people I always recommend they create their own healing playlist of songs that help them feel hopeful, encouraged, uplifted, or that speak to their struggles.

So to help get the ball rolling, here is a link to the YouTube playlist I made with some good recovery songs: Christian/Uplifting Recovery Songs

And here are the songs individually. I tried to categorize them but really most of these songs fit in a lot of different categories. The links will take you to a YouTube video for each song if I could find it. I will continue to add to this list because there are tons more great songs that I like for recovery, but this is a good beginning.

Transitional Character

Your Love - Brandon Heath

Family Tree by Matthew West

Finding the Passion in Life

The Motions by Matthew West

Letter to the Addict or Codependent

So Long Self by Mercy Me

Battling in a Relationship
Lead Me by Sanctus Real
Courageous by Casting Crowns

Hope and Forgiveness
You Can Change - Julie Yardley
You are More by Tenth Avenue North
There's Hope by India Arie
Recover by Natasha Bedingfield

Authenticity, Transparency
Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North
The Real Me by Natalie Grant

Turning to God, Fathered by God
By Your Side

Strength not Deliverance
When the Rain Comes by Third Day
Held by Natalie Grant

Staying in the Present Moment
It's a Beautiful Day by India Arie

Surrender
Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli
Hope Now by Addison Road

For Family Members of Addicts
Addiction: Michael's Song (original) by Lisa Scinta

Joy Through Service

From Unlocking the Communication Puzzle by Dr. John R. Strong

Sense of Joy Through Service

Offering service or assistance to others is a vital part of feeling human. Feeling that you have something to offer to the world in return for what you have received is a key part of a fulfilling life. 

Think of the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea. The Sea of Galilee receives fresh water and also gives fresh water to other areas and it remains a fresh body of water supporting life. The Dead Sea receives fresh water but doesn't give (other than a function of evaporation) and as a result it loses its freshness. It loses its life sustaining capacity. It is dead. 

 The Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea are made of the same water. It flows down, clean and cool, from the heights of Herman and the roots of the cedars of Lebanon. the Sea of Galilee makes beauty of it, the Sea of Galilee has an outlet. It gets to give. It gathers in its riches that it may pour them out again to fertilize the Jordan plain. But the Dead Sea with the same water makes horror. For the Dead Sea has no outlet. It gets to keep.   

Fosdick, Harry Emerson

The evaporation process would be like doing only those things that are required. To increase the fulfillment in this area we need to develop a greater sensitivity to our own capacity to be of service to others and then render that service. 

Because giving service can sometimes cause resentment or a sense of entitlement it is important to determine if our service is motivated by love or fear. Love must drive our choices and actions in order to experience fulfillment in service. Choices made from a place of love will allow us to experience a sense of abundance. Choices made from a place of fear lead to feelings of scarcity and deprivation. (For example, I have to volunteer for the PTA, even though I don't really want to do it and I don't have time to do it, because if I don't volunteer everyone will think I'm a bad mother.) If your actions are based on fear look for the roots of it. [Trigger prevention sheets will help with finding these roots.]  

For today, try cultivating an appreciation for the abundance of the universe and the abundance in your own life. Then think of something you can do to offer service that is motivated by love. It can be something simple, like reaching out to a friend to let them know you are thinking of them, listening to a child, writing a thank you note to someone who was thoughtful to you, etc. See what this kind of action does for your level of fulfillment in life.

To get you started in thinking about the abundance of the universe, here is a quote from John Eldredge in Beautiful Outlaw

“What do we make of the gift of water? You can swim in it, but also float upon it. You can drink it and surf it. Droplets fall from the sky in staggering abundance, yet it also flows in streams and rivers. It makes one sound as a brook, another as a waterfall, and something else entirely together in the silence of snow. This extravagance is almost scandalous.”

Connection to a Higher Power

From Unlocking the Communication Puzzle by Dr. John R. Strong

Having a Rightfulness of Fit

When we feel loved, valued and understood, and when we feel like we have a sense of direction, and self control in our lives, it's like everything fits right. There may be growth areas and challenges to accomplish, but feeling right about something gives us the needed energy to move forward. This is part of feeling a rightfulness of fit. This dimension is similar to having a sense of direction, but it also incorporates a spiritual or higher power assurance that lets us know the direction we are headed in is right for us. This assurance can come even when other things in our lives are not in order. It can come during times of high stress and even when we are functioning at below normal levels. Often it is described as a peaceful feeling that what we are doing or have done is the best thing for us. This feeling can sometimes go against what our rational, reasoning minds judge to be best.  

For example, Jodi had been looking for a job for several months and finally found one that looked like a perfect fit for her. Everything about the job seemed right. Jodi was offered the position, but as she contemplated committing herself to this job she just couldn't feel peaceful about it. After much prayer and meditation, she decided that she would turn down the job offer. Logically the decision to pass up this job opportunity didn't make any sense to her. She needed the job and she thought it was something she would love. However, she stepped forward in faith and trusted her gut feeling to decline the job. While the decision certainly wasn't easy, she felt peace about her direction. A few months later she was offered another job that she immediately felt "right" about and was hired for. Several years later she still loves her job and is passionately engaged in it. As an additional witness that she had made the right choice, she learned that the original company that offered her a job had some serious financial setbacks shortly after she turned down the job offer and they were forced to cut several programs, including the one she would have been hired for. As she looks back, she is extremely grateful that she had the courage to follow her intuition and the spiritual guidance she had received.  

Developing our ability to recognize and follow spiritual/Higher Power assurances to help us make decisions and take action in our lives is a very important way to increase our sense of well-being. We can then draw on this power to help us achieve fulfillment in all the other dimensions of being we have talked about. Our ability to reach our potential will be markedly increased as we learn to reflect on and incorporate the messages from our Higher Power or the universe. 

Taking time to get away from the hustle and bustle of ordinary life and reflect on the grandeur of the universe is one way to increase our ability to sense a rightfulness of fit. Connecting with nature, meditating, and expressing appreciation are other ways increase the level of fulfillment of this dimension. Pondering on the nature of your Higher Power and your connection to that Power has been helpful for some people. Another idea is to write a letter to your Higher Power and then imagine and write what your Higher Power might say to you in response. Whatever you decide to do, try to find some way today to develop this dimension of your identity.

Improving Self Control

From Unlocking the Communication Puzzle by Dr. John R. Strong

Having a Sense of Self Control

This element of our identity develops as we interact in responsible ways, make choices about how we will respond to situations over which we have little control, and take responsibility for our impact on others. Having a sense of self control is associated with feelings of self-respect, self-esteem and responsibility for personal choices. The more an individual focuses on what others are doing for or to his or her personal welfare the less he or she experiences self control. When we are in the drama triangle we will automatically feel low self control. No one can take away our self control; however, when we feel low fulfillment in this area, often we have given our power away. To increase fulfillment in this area we should focus on personal choices we can make. Choices that serve oneself, without harming someone else, will increase fulfillment. 

Let's go back to the example from yesterday about Nicole, the grocery store checker. Although Nicole was very competent and appreciated in her job, she decided that she had to do something different or be paralyzed by her growing sense of incompleteness. She took a battery of vocational aptitude tests and explored several different professions before choosing to learn carpentry. She now builds fine furniture and feels deeply satisfied with her job. She looks back on the experience with a sense of awe that she was brave enough to "get out of my rut." Her exhilaration is still apparent as she speaks of "taking charge of my life." Part of the battle, she admits, was "to stop worrying about what other people would think. I had to stop worrying about making my boss angry by quitting. I had to stop worrying about my mother being embarrassed at having a daughter who was a carpenter. I had to stop worrying about whether men would like me if I was competing with them in one of their professions." In these ways, Nicole was taking responsibility for her own thoughts and actions and letting her boss's, her mother's, and her dates' feelings be their own responsibility.

Of course other people do influence us. But we can only be responsible for our own thoughts and actions. Nicole could not control how her mother felt about her. She could only choose between doing what was best for herself or trying to please her mother. We cannot control someone else's thoughts or feelings although we may help them process those thoughts and feelings. 

For our own sense of self control, we may sometimes need to respect the "right" of others to suffer. That's all part of separating our responsibility from others'.

See how you can apply this principle to recovery work. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is one example of increasing your self-control. Practicing healthy self-care is another example. There are many other things in recovery that can improve your sense of self control. Try to think of a few things you can do today to increase your fulfillment in this area. Notice how you feel after implementing some of these. It is normal to feel uncomfortable at first, just like in learning any new skill, but the feelings of empowerment are worth it.