During the early part of addiction recovery the focus is on healing from the trauma, stopping the addictive behavior, and rebuilding trust and hope.
However, for a couple who are working to save the relationship, there must also be some emphasis on that relationship.
Weekly date night, when both partners are ready for it, can be a great way to nurture and strengthen the relationship and rekindle the reasons you chose to be together in the first place and the reasons you are still together now. It can also aid in healing from the addiction for both partners.
If you are in a stable place in your relationship, give yourself permission to take a once a week break from talking or thinking about the addiction or any other loaded issue and simply enjoy doing something together with your partner for a few hours.
Here are some basic guidelines.
- Have a specific night of the week designated as date night and do not skip it for anything.
- Take turns planning the dates.
- When it is your turn to plan, try to think of something that will be enjoyable for your partner, not necessarily what you want to do. When it is your partner's turn to plan, he or she will have the goal of planning a date you will enjoy. Your focus when planning the date should be on your partner's interests and vice versa.
- If you have children, the person in charge of planning also arranges the babysitter. If budget is an issue join or start a babysitting coop with friends. If you absolutely can not arrange for a babysitter, make other arrangements for the children, such as a movie in another room, so that you can spend some time with your partner as distraction free as possible.
- If possible date night should be without children.
- Talking about children, finances, problems, addiction, or any other heavy topic while on the date is not allowed. Date night should be stress-free recreational time together.
- Have fun, be creative, and enjoy yourselves.
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| 20 pocket change date ideas |
Remember that it doesn't have to cost money. If you plan creatively there are lots of free or very inexpensive things you can do.
Below are some great resources for planning and committing to weekly date nights.
romance and date planning ideas:
more date ideas for a variety of situations:
Budget Date Night Ideas - I love that these ideas are written by a man for men, but these are great ideas for women too.
There are tons more ideas online if you do a google search.
I've also included a link to a google document for creating your own date night ideas list. Click on this link and then rename it to create your own google document. Share it with your partner so they can add their ideas. The link below will take you to the spreadsheet where you can easily view all your responses or do any editing, but be sure to view the live form first. The live form is where you will be inputting your ideas. You can edit the form as well if you want to personalize it. Make sure you edit the address responses are sent to so that they go to your document and not the original.
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