The Rest of Your Life

Today's post is from http://www.spiritualriver.com/an-addiction-program-guide-for-rehabs-and-treatment-centers. Because it is written for addicts, some partners of addicts may dismiss this article. However, this applies to you too! I would love to come up with a list of ideas for how partners of addicts as well as addicts can strive for personal growth. If you have any ideas besides those listed please send them to me! 

"Recovery basically comes in two stages. Early recovery, and “the rest of your life.” Early recovery is a tough ride and you need lots of help and support to get through it. You have a ton of learning to do. Many people don’t ever make it to “long term sobriety.”

"But of those who do make it past the early stage of recovery, they still have to live clean and sober, day in and day out, for the rest of their lives. Traditional wisdom says that we should take this “a day at a time,” and I would not argue with that. It will always be a day at a time thing for those in recovery. But even so, many people in long term recovery end up relapsing eventually. But why?

"The answer is complacency. Just because you make it to one year clean and sober does not insure sobriety for the rest of your life. The statistics are actually quite frightening. Simply accumulating clean time does not insure that you will continue to stay sober forever.

"So what is the answer? The answer is personal growth. The answer is that you must overcome complacency in recovery by pushing yourself to grow as a person.

"In my opinion this is the main key point of any recovery program. This is the central pillar. If you are not growing as a person, then you are on dangerous ground. If you are not committed to personal growth, then you are slowly headed for relapse. If you are stagnant and not pushing yourself to grow in any way, then eventually complacency will set in and you will revert to what you know best: self medicating. . .

"Therefore, personal growth is 90 percent of recovery (the other part being made up of networking [or connecting] with other people).

"Now the question will inevitably arise: how should I pursue personal growth?

"The answer is in two parts:

"1) Pursue personal growth by pushing yourself to pursue better 
health, and to take better care of yourself (in mind, body, and spirit).

"And

"2) Pursue personal growth by using your unique strengths and talents to help others.

"We have already talked about how caring for yourself and pursing better health is important. Let’s take a look at the second point:

"Using your unique strengths and talents to help others

"In long term recovery, the “networking” part of recovery is replaced. Instead of asking for help and seeking guidance and direction from others in early recovery, now you are reaching out and extending your helping hand to others so that you can help them. This may be help in terms of addiction. . .  or it may be another form of help entirely. The point is that you find a way to do this that is unique to you.

"What is your gift to offer the world? What is it about you that makes you uniquely qualified to help others in some way? Find that lever and push it. Figure out how to leverage your talents to help others in a way that is meaningful to you.

"Note that this will not happen overnight. You will not be doing this during your first week of sobriety. This is something that should happen over time as you progress in long term recovery. This is an ideal that you want to be moving closer to in your life. Give it time in order to see how you can best serve the world. Try different things and experiment. Chair a [12 step] meeting. Sponsor someone in recovery. Take meetings into jails or rehab centers. Find a way to connect with others and see what works best for you. See what you are good at. Then, do it.

"Once you start using your unique talents to help others then you are really experiencing an awesome life in recovery. This is what you should strive for and how you should live your life. It is personal growth with a real purpose–you are not just trying to “be a better person,” you are essentially trying to become better so that you can help others. From a religious perspective, this is the height of trying to “do God’s will.” It is using power to help the world rather than just for personal gain. The awesome thing is that the world will pay you back a hundred-fold if you do this right, and you will grow stronger and stronger in your recovery."

Don't forget to send me your ideas!